10:44 PM

She scoffed at the words that left his mouth. How could she be so heartless? Please, no one gets to this point of their lives just because. Everything is eventual.

“How about next time you ask me why. Ask me who made my heart so cold, or where did I go to get myself here? Or even just what happened in my life that was so bad that I became the person I am today. But never ask me how, because there is a much bigger picture than just how can I be a certain way.” She could feel the anger rise within her as the word left her mouth like tiny drops of poison. He began to shuffle from side to side, clearly picking up on her hostility. 

“You know” she began, “sometimes I want to give all of myself to someone; completely investing into everything that we are because I believe that is the truest way to build a meaningful relationship. Then you really see the beauty and madness that can be created with love. But half the time I talk myself out of it, because eventually people leave and if you leave, at least I’ll still be whole, because I didn’t give any of myself away. All that would be left is the ghost of a memory that we used to be, which I can live with. I’d rather live with a ghost than with the knowledge of knowing that somewhere out there the people I have invested into carry a tiny piece of me that I will never get back. And half the time, those people don’t even care."

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