Keeping in Touch w/ Ex's- Yay or Nay?

5:17 PM

Ex's can be a touchy subject for many people, especially depending on the break up. But is it okay to still be friends, even if you dated for a long time?

This questions seems to be different for everyone.

Some who have gone through a horrible break up and a messy relationship in general are all aboard for saying no, but some say when wounds heal and time has been given it could work.

So what are the deciding factors? Well after asking around I was able to pinpoint some:

  1. The Break Up- was it mutual? Was it messy? These things are huge determining factors when it comes to deciding if you can or cannot be friends.
  2. Did they cheat on you- If they did, then being friends is harder according to most
  3. How long have you dated- Some say its harder to stay friends if you dated for awhile and the break up wasn't mutual. Other's say if you dated awhile, staying friends seems like a logical step because you were a part of each other's lives so much. And if you haven't dated for awhile, most agree it would be easier to stay friends
  4. Is it mutual- nothing is worse than staying friends and the other person still has feelings, things just get too complicated
  5. Has there been enough time- time heals all wounds, and if there hasn't been enough time, being friends too soon could bring up old feelings.
  6. You've seen each other naked- apparently this one is a huge reason why a lot of couples don't end up staying friends.
These are just a few things but all in all, if you do want to stay friends it just comes down to making sure both sides have taken the time to move on, each have the best interests of the other person when it comes to relationships with other people in mind, and being mutual. Always remember that when you break up with someone, you've given up the privilege to be in that person's life and it's up to them to let you back in.

I know a lot of people who are still friends with their ex's so it is possible. I've never been in a serious relationship prior to the one that I'm in currently, but I am still friends with the guys I've had flings with. In fact, one of them happens to be my closest friend, and i'm so lucky to have someone like him because he still cares and looks out for me. But there's the other sticky situation; how does your current partner feel about you two being friends?

From my experience, if you tell your partner, are completely honest, and hear/respect their feelings, things do work out. My boyfriend, love him to pieces and am so lucky to have him, can sometimes get easily jealous. And yes, sometimes I think it's sweet because it means he cares a lot, but most of the time jealousy in a relationship is like poison. So how did we manage? Honesty. Before we even dated I told him about my friendship with guys and how close I am with them, and if he wasn't okay with that then maybe we wouldn't last. But we worked out a compromise. I always let him know who i'm hanging out with and what we're doing. This way it proves, I have nothing to hide. He has met quite a few of my guy friends, and for the most part we've been good. I have always respected his feelings and have compromised sometimes because of his feelings to let him know that I care about him. That's really all it takes, time and honesty. But like I said, sometimes it doesn't work for everyone.

So what do you think? 

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