Looking back on the past

7:49 PM

another day another letter.
well not really, but you get the drift.

seems like forever doesn't it? almost done high school, and its hard to believe i will be sharing this moment without you. i always thought we would be the ones gushing about our dresses and you would help me pick out my hair style and w would experiment with our make up. i always thought i would be with you, us walking, of course laughing, and checking out the really hot guy across the side walk.

i thought a lot. got me no where.

can you believe how much has changed, how much we have changed. just cause were not friends anymore doesn't mean i don't hear stories. all i want to say is dont do something you will regret. or bring home a baby. you dad just might faint lol.

summer is coming around and it just feels like it hit me, again. you'd think i would be more sad around January- march, but im not. i feel worse knowing summer is coming. because when i pictured summer i pictured me walking or biking to your house, going to the park and buying a crap load of candy from 7/11. i pictured those lazy nights where we would stay up watching movies and talking about the crazy lives we had. i would tell you that im scared. really scared.

high school is over. feels like i have accomplished a lot, but really it is just the beginning.

university, holy crap. this is something big.

i dont know why it still hurts. i should be over it. its been so long. but i cant let it go. you were like my sister. i confessed my heart and soul into. i trusted you with every fibre in my being. you didnt need to earn my trust like everyone, but the problem is, when you walked away i learned to stop giving away my trust. i learned to harden. close my feelings off and put a smile on.

why did you walk away when i needed you the most. why did you leave me there, holding my hand out to you, only to watch you turn away. i know given the circumstances it seemed impossible at that moment. but its no excuse, not anymore. i was your friend, your sister. no one deserves to be treated like that. but you watched.

i tried to reach out to you. you can't say i didnt. i fought as hard as i could, but a person can only do so much.

so here is just another letter i have written to you, that will be added with the rest. i know you will never get them. i dont writ them for you to read. maybe i'll burn the others. let it free.

i hope things are well for you. as for me, all you really need to know, is i will get past this again. i always do. and my life, well my life is pretty great.

good luck with your future all the best.

-your cousin, brittany.

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2 comments

  1. This is a really cute post! And yey! High school is over! And it is a big achievement!

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  2. aaaahh i know : / somedays its still hard to believe

    ReplyDelete