it`s through our mistakes we finally grow

1:33 AM

i`ll admit. this past week has been hell. yes i know that somewhere out there, there is someone with a life far worst then mine, but to me this was more then i could handle.

family issues can take a major toll in a persons life. but im not here to blog about my issues with my family and what is going on because people dont need to know. honestly there is only one person that knows and the only reason she knows is because of her mom. but im glad she knew. because things might of been a lot harder.

this past week i carried the mentality that i was walking through this alone, but i wasn`t, she was there. so thank you.

i also realized i did bring this onto myself, but beneath all the bitching and fighting we`re starting to make progress. slowly. but things are calming down.

i know i`ve made so many mistakes this past year and a half. i can`t go back and fix them no matter what. i don`t own a time machine. all i can do is move forward with my life. hopefully learn something from the mistake and not repeat it. hopefully.

its time to focus on what i need to do now. not what i can do later.

i dont know what people expect from me, and yes i do care about what people think of me. sometimes too much. i`ll change that habit, slowly but surely.

all im trying to say beneath all this rambling is this: life is too short to be wasting your time caring grudges, pouting, moping, and always wondering what if. we really don`t know how long we have so make the best of it. chase your dreams, live them, don`t just imagine them. i`m not saying to live each day as its last, i`m just saying consider how big a deal it really is. will you remember in the future, will it completely change who you are today, will it impact you that long. and even if it does, isn`t there a way to move forward, let it go.

i`m just trying to find some place of happiness and i think i`m slowly getting there. we`ll have to see in a year from now.

p.s. sooo excited for tmrw night with the girls : )

happiness project: 350 days

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