Just Another Letter I May Never Send

9:20 PM

So it's been awhile. I mean a long time since i've attempted to write to you. The other letters are still in my drawer collecting dust and waiting for me to finally collect the nerve to just leave them on your doorsteps. But they'll prob stay there forever. Who knows.

Alot has happened since i last wrote. It's weird i havent written to you in almost a year, but today i felt it was time. I heard you had a boyfriend. Believe me when i found out i was kinda shocked. I remember you as being so sweet and idk, not really looking for a boyfriend. My mom used to always compare me to you, how good you were. Yeah, you were kinda a goody two shoes. You made me feel like a rebel which says alot cause i'm not one. Auntie says alot has changed. Ashely is off in Japan, Sandra is teaching in Calgary, and you, apparently you changed. You're a "rebel" according to your mom. Mind you saying damn in your house was like a forbidden act, so i wonder just how rebellious you really are.I hope you havent changed too much, turned into some plastic bitch. Ugh that would be horrible, since we used to mock them. I remember when you first started wearing makeup, haha i almost had a heart attack, even though it was just eye shadow. You were 12 and i didn't even wear makeup yet, and im older ;).

Do you remember all our trips we had together. We used to spend every holiday together. And we'd sometimes jut hid out in your moms room in her closet and just talk about everything. Or that we used to pretend we were ice princesses and "skated" on your kitchen floor cause it was the slipperiest floor ever. Or how i always had to come to your house and use the pirate ship nutcracker just cause i loves how it worked. Oh god who could forget how we used to walk past that house three doors down, cause 3 guys our age were out playing ball hockey. We thought we were the hottest things in our long, pink shorts, and hideous sparkly tops that deserve to be buried forever, along with our two braids that we thought made us look older, when in fact we look younger and belonged in a farm. And then we'd just hangout in your front yard, coming up with silly games, and seeing how many cherries we could eat before your dad came out to yell at us. How is the family? Haven't really heard from Grandma or Victor. I don't think i ever will, which is sad cause she's the last one i have.

I went to B.C. this summer actually. I saw Auntie and Gabriel and Dani, and for once Uncle. I've never actually remember seeing him. It was so nice to be around them, and Melise has grown. she's so cute. Has Gabriel showed you his band stuff? Its so good, and his voice is so amazing. He told lots of funny stories, and his girlfriend is so nice. He did good. I actually felt closer to them this year. Then we saw Kristen and them on the island. I'm actually talking to her as we speak, have you talked to them? I heard there was some "beef" as they put it between your mom and their grandparents. When we drove back, passing Kalowna i was so tempted to ask if we could visit Grandpa's grave. He was the last person i was with when everyone was still a family. I've always wondered that maybe if he didn't die, if things would be different. If our families would be planning who's house Easter would be held at, and disputing about what to bring. But of course that won't happen anytime soon.

I'm in a musical by the way. I know shocking right? Considering i always made excuses to not sing in front of our family when we made up those silly shows. But here i am about to sing in front of more than just ours moms and dads. Kinda scary actually. Then there's dance, so hectic. I have my solo soon. I'm actually crapping my pants. I'm so nervous, i don't think i'll do good this year. i haven't done a solo in so long. I wish you could see our Musical theater. Oh you'd laugh so hard. We're drunken Irish folks. Yup, i know exactly what you're thinking.

It's insane how much time has passed. You'll be in high school next year. Wow. I'm sure you'll love it. But i'm gunna go. Maybe some day i'll send all those letters, but for now i'll just wait and hope everything is well with you.


Your Cousin.

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